if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
