Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
