What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My balls are so social today.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
