Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
