Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
