sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
