Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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