i just wanna soil my oats bro
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
