ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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