Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
