Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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