she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
