Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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