Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
