Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
