My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
