Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
