I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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