If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
