Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Panties = found
Randomize
