And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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