That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
