reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
