I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
