I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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