I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
two words...techno handjob
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
