He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He has the fingertips of a God
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