What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
