Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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