i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
