hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
