We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
