OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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