Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
