The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
