The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
