Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize