"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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