oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
