Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
