his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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