nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Houston, we have a squirter
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
