That's when you crack a 10am beer
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
