Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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