I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
