I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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