I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
