I think i peed on brittanys purse
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
