yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
