So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
