how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
