I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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