My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
