I'm jealous of your bromance
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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